Along with forgiveness, this has easily been one of the hardest parts of my faith to come to grips with. Sometimes it’s hard to bite your tongue when someone continues to viscously attack you. It’s no secret that we have dealt with a particular person like this for many years. Literally since the day I married my amazing husband. After tolerating the abuse for many years we finally decided things would never change, enough was enough. So we cut ties shortly after our daughter’s fourth birthday. Now that our children are old enough to understand the things that have been going on, it’s time we protect them from people we once called “family”. As our daughter’s fifth birthday quickly approaches it’s rather sad to have to admit that even without having a relationship any longer there is one particular person that still continues the viscous attacks almost daily, or so I hear. It used to bother me, especially when someone that once struggled with her weight until she has a drastic weight loss surgery now feels it’s okay to post cruel things online about our weight. While it has become a game to post such hateful things and then delete them, it still made it’s way to me after someone screen shot it and sent it to us. No denying that. That was possibly as low as one could stoop. Especially when said person has no idea what actually goes on in our personal life. Clearly I’ve had four surgeries over the last year, some for very serious reasons of which are none of her business or concern. I just will never understand how a “Christian” could be so hateful or vindictive? Anyway, I won’t go into that because that’s the entire point of this blog.

“Never retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Pay them back with a blessing…and God will bless you.” – 1 Peter 3:9

There it is. My biggest reason for no longer retaliating against another’s hatred. Let alone the fact that I’m so thankful our family no longer needs to value or tolerate her opinions or hatred towards us. Who cares what is thought about us by someone that doesn’t even hold a special place in our lives any longer? There is a big reason for it after all and this only validates our beliefs further. Thankfully at the advice of my husband as well as a few other caring folks in my life I have stopped reading her stabs months ago. Even upon hearing of her latest attempts to draw me into another cycle of the nonsense I have resisted temptation. I value my faith, my family, and let’s be honest my sanity far too much to allow a person that I have cut ties with for a very valid reason to have that control over me any longer. I figured out the forgiveness part months ago. I really struggled with it because I made myself believe that in doing so meant I had to have a relationship with said person again, that absolutely is never happening again, and is absolutely not the case. It took me really grasping my faith and God’s word to fully get it. I just needed to forgive. There is no further action or relationship required, thanks be to God.

So now I have moved on to this verse. (1 Peter 3:9) talk about God’s timing always being right. I needed it. And it came along right on time. What another thinks about me or in this case blatantly says about me all over the internet and quite possibly to anyone who will listen really doesn’t matter at all. What another thinks of me is none of my business! Wouldn’t I need to value said opinion to begin with? Does another’s opinion even define who I really am? Not a chance! Another’s view of me doesn’t define the person I truly am. Far more people have a completely opposite view of me after all. I don’t need to retaliate. I don’t need to give it any more thought. Thankfully that is a part of our lives that we no longer need to go back to and a part of our lives that no longer deserves a response. Instead I choose to pray for said person. That this person can finally move on without feeling the need to nearly a year later continue to take stabs at us. Move on and find a happy place, even a happy medium. I have no intention in responding to such hatred any longer. Instead I will continue to hold on to my faith and my family and will do so with as much grace as I possibly can.

I had originally intended to post this as a private blog. Then I realized this is nothing worth hiding. Especially as I typed it it reminded me of a situation that someone I love dearly is going through. While it’s a whole different situation it is a similar one that this one verse may very well help them cope with better. One persons hatred doesn’t deserve a response. Pray for them instead. No sense in stooping to another persons level and making yourself look equally as bad. Remember this one quote: “How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about YOU!”