Extended Breast Feeding

While pregnant with my Lil Bitty Boo I had done a lot of reading. With the age gap between each of our monsters (15 years between the oldest & youngest) so much had changed in the way things were done when I had each of them. One of our little monsters had to sleep on his back, one on her tummy, and our last two on their side. This time was a little different for me. We had to go through fertility to conceive her. It was both physically and mentally exhausting. The appointments every other day, the hormone pills, hormone patches, and the shots my husband and my mother in law had to give me proved to me that I had more strength & determination than I had realized. Before we found out the exciting news that we were expecting our fourth child, we had decided we weren’t going to try for the fifth that we were considering having. Not only was it a tough experience for me, but an experience that our whole little family went through. I just didn’t want to put our family through it again. We decided that if God blessed us with our fourth and final baby, we were going to count our blessings and call it quits. So here we are, a happy, chaotic family of 6. Anyway, in all of my reading I had discovered new things that I wanted to do during the bonding with our last little monster. EBF is something I knew I was going to do long before that January day that we heard her precious little cry for the first time.

Breastfeeding is a very controversial topic. Some moms will argue it is the only way. Some moms feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with going straight to formula and sharing that feeding experience with others. Some moms don’t have a choice between the two because their body didn’t produce enough milk. I personally think that a mom knows what is best for her child and she should be allowed to do what she feels is best without being judged for it. Then there is the NIP (nursing in public) issue. Wowza! That one may be even more controversial than breast or bottle battle. Some feel it’s the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. Some look it as a sexual thing and take complete offense to a mom openly nursing her child in public. I see it is as this. God created our bodies so that we can nourish our children. What is offensive about that? I see public ads with much more nudity every where you look. And had pretty much came to the conclusion that I would nurse my baby any where she was hungry. I didn’t completely expose myself. I was discrete as possible depending on the location. Sometimes I got dirty looks. Sometimes I got the sweetest comments from fellow moms that thanked me for doing it. And a few even had some of the snidest remarks. One particular incident we were having lunch at a local sandwich shop. We were in a corner booth and Bitty was hungry. I started nursing her as this man that was there with his wife & son stared at me in disgust. Mind you he was the only one that could see me. The wife and child had their backs to us. Then as he continued to glare at me the very loud and rude comments started coming as he started complaining to his wife who slowly started to just stare down in her lap as she tried to get him to stop. I finally calmly looked at him and said “I will happily stop feeding my baby right now if you take your son’s sandwich out of his hands.” The wife chuckled, the son continued to eat, the man continued to glare and mumble a little lower, and I continued to feed my daughter. Twenty minutes later she was a happy baby with a full tummy and the angry fella was gone never to be seen again.

My first breast feeding goal was a year. Then I wasn’t quite sure when I wanted to stop. After talking to my husband about it, we decided it would be best to let Bitty decide when she wanted to stop. I had hoped we would make it to her 2nd year. But about a month ago I noticed the slow changes. We were getting close to her weening herself. I just knew it. It was bitter sweet to say the least. For 6 months I was her only source of nourishment, for 18 months I was her favorite. She had even opted to nurse over getting a chance to eat some ice cream with her sisters and brother. This was the last time I would get to breastfeed. It was a very special 18 months of bonding. I can remember the very first time I nursed her and I can remember the very last time as well. There was lots of learning in the beginning. Many many long restless nights when she was itty bitty. I loved each stage of her nursing. The beginning where we had to tickle her little feet to keep her awake to eat. The stares as she got a little older and we just got to watch each others faces. Then the sweet little smiles that she would get as milk poured out of her mouth. Finding her feet and playing with them while she ate. Holding my hand. The distractions that would come because her nosey little self had to see what was going on around her. The quickest and easiest way to get her to fall asleep. Yet the minute she woke up it was also the first thing she wanted. And towards the end the running over and tugging on my shirt to lift it up to get a quick drink and then right back to playing.

But after 18 precious months, it’s over. While I am a bit bummed that that phase of our bonding is over I am just as excited to watch her growing in to the very independent little toddler she is. Now she is loving exploring the BLW (baby led weening). Getting to watch her explore with new textures and taste, playing with her food, sometimes throwing it to the dog, and almost always rubbing it all over her little curls when she is done is priceless. I don’t feel like we failed by not making it to the two year goal. We made it through many hurdles. From her being a premie, to each of us being sick at times, and me even having to have a surgery to remove my gallbladder, we always managed to continue. I feel like we were blessed with 18 months worth of special one on one moments that I will forever cherish. Now there are two new kinds of milk she loves…coconut & almond.

This was her very last time nursing…