It’s funny how a picture that most probably would have over looked, or just took a quick glance at, while going through old pictures can tug at my heart so much. I’m not even sure it’s one I remembered. Yet this is the picture that got me the most this evening after our girls went to bed and I finally allowed myself the moment to really think about my Maw-Maw. Today marked nineteen years since she passed. Nineteen years since I’ve had one of her hugs, heard her voice, gotten advice from her, listened to one of her stories, or just witnessed the most beautiful smile in the world. It doesn’t feel like nineteen years when I think of her. It feels like it just happened. It was by far one of the most difficult times of my life and something I still struggle with if I’m being honest with myself.
This picture is probably circa 1980 or 1981. I was probably 2 or 3. I wish her face wasn’t cut off in the picture, yet the second I saw it I know it’s my Maw-Maw. The way she’s standing. The way she’s always right by my side. The second thing I noticed about it is that I’m sitting in “the highchair”. The highchair all three of her children sat in. All of four of her grandchildren sat in. And even all four of my children, her great grandchildren have sat in. The high chair that remains in our dining room to date. Then there are little things that would really likely go unnoticed. Like the breadbox in the background. That thing was a staple item in my Maw-Maw’s kitchen. I always loved it. Many years ago I walked in Matt’s Aunt’s house and was so excited to see the very same bread box in her home. She gave it to me that day. To this day it’s on top of our cabinets in our kitchen and makes me far happier than I’m sure his Aunt will ever know. I also see the kitchen table my Paw-Paw made. I see the oven that I can still hear the sound it made when it opened and even remember the smell of her homemade biscuits she’d bake. And I’m almost positive that’s my cousin Lil Joe standing there. I smile when I see just how much our youngest daughter favors me. A simple photo that brings me so much happiness and yet still tugs at my heart strings. I really miss this beautiful soul. I’m really thankful God let me have her for as long as he did. And I’m really thankful for all of the specially memories that I will forever cherish. I’m even thankful that something as simple as watching Bitty dance around last night to Garth Brooks makes me know how much she would have loved our three little girls. And how much of a blessing it was that she was around long enough to love on Budah for nineteen months before she passed.