So this is 40…

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I’m 40 now. For some reason 30 terrified me. So much so that I jokingly pretended to be 29 for so long that I often had to ask Matt how old I really was. Even my lil monsters knew Mama turned 29 year after year. Somehow, I’m good with 40. Like really good. I AM 40! I am happy. I have an unwaivering faith in God. I’ve been married for over a decade to the most loving and supportive man I’ve ever known and somehow get to call mine. I am a mama to four truly incredible humans that I will forever be in awe of. I am the proud Maw-Maw to two precious little souls. I have a priceless bond with my parents. I’m a daughter in law and a mother in law to two special women. I have a closeness with some of my family that I wouldn’t trade for the world, even some cousins that have forever been more like a sister or brother to me. Friends I’ve had since we were kids and now get to watch our own children grow together. I’ve got friendships that I’ve built since relocating to Texas from New Orleans many many years ago. I have two sweet little senior pups that follow me around day in and day out (I admit this is because I’m the one that always slips them people food, but hey they love me and I’ll take it!).

I am short, loud, sometimes spontaneous, wear my heart on my sleeve, am known to cuss like a sailor, have a raging temper when it comes to anyone messing with someone I love, tend to be a bit of an over thinker, mildly OCD, generally have trouble hiding my emotions be it happiness or anger, yet I’m one of the most sincere people to have in your corner. I am a family, friend, iced latte, Moscato, book, yoga, red lipstick, post it note, and children/animal loving lady.

In the last decade we have made so many of our dreams come true. Our family has grown and reshaped in various ways. We moved into a home that we now get to watch children and grandchildren grow in due to my husband’s hard work for our family while encouraging me to be the stay at home mama I cherish being. We have traveled to interesting places both with our children as well as little getaways alone with my love. Some travels have been far away and sometimes only as far as our backyard. I am healthier than I’ve ever been. I can now keep up with my children and grandchildren on a trampoline, at theme parks, and on playgrounds. I have wrinkles that show the life I’ve lived. Some from worry, God knows I worry like no other, and some from lots of happiness and laughter. I have many grays that pop out before my next hair appointment and oddly enough even that doesn’t bother me, fingers crossed I get the streak in my hair that my Maw-Maw had. I’ve got stretch marks from carrying four children I was once told I wouldn’t have. I’ve got scars from more surgeries than I care to count. I’ve been hurt tremendously in my life time and I’ve also been loved beyond measure. So how could I possibly be distraught over turning forty? This feels like quite the privilege! So bring on the next decade of my life that I’m so blessed to be living. I look forward to celebrating more birthdays with the ones that love me most. To watching my husband bake me another beautiful cake while I sit across the counter from him sipping on a glass of wine and smiling so much it hurts. Listening to the most precious voices singing Happy birthday to me year after year. Dancing and (horribly) singing in our kitchen with our children and grandchildren while cooking dinner. I am so thankful to get to experience FORTY!

I look forward to learning and growing in new ways. If I’ve learned nothing else in this life time it’s to forever know I will never stop learning from others. I will not always be right. It’s okay to admit fault or wrong doing and apologize sincerely. I am not and will never be perfect. My biggest teachers have always been my children and I’m certain I learn more from them alone daily than I could ever teach them. THIS is 40!

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I am me.

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“I may have screwed up as a wife or girlfriend and sometimes as a mother, a daughter, sister or as a friend, because I don’t always say or do the “right things.” I can be blunt, I have been hurt, & I have scars because I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, and some people don’t. I have done good in my life. I have done bad in my life. I go without makeup sometimes. I don’t get dressed up all the time. I am random and I am silly sometimes. I will not pretend to be someone I am not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. But if I love you, I will do it with my whole heart, and I will make no apologies for the way I am. I AM ME!!!” -unknown

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Mama/daughter day with Aub…

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Last and certainly not least, today was our Mama & Aub day! Aub will be turning 13 this year. She is already so wrapped up in her preteen life and friends that I truly cherish my time alone with her. It’s special time for us to just be and talk about any and everything that’s on her mind. I love that she confides in me and pray she always knows she can. Aub picked Panera Bread for lunch and to see the movie “The Greatest Showman”. I’ve seen more movies this week than I’ve likely watched in six months or longer. Lucky for me I enjoyed all four of the movies and this one was incredible! I quickly realized Aub picked this movie because Zac Effron is in it, well played Aub! I am so proud of the beautiful young lady she is becoming and can’t believe my baby already has a much bigger foot than I do and we can safely say she is now taller than me as well. Slow down little lady, my heart is trying to keep up!

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Busy but fun day

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Took my mom to an appointment this morning, then we went to PF Chang for lunch, before my hair appointment. After some of our usual afternoon routines and getting kiddos fed and settled in for the night I took my husband and my dad to see “Die Hard” for one of the movie classics nights at a local theatre. It’s only one of Matt’s favorites, so I had to he sure they got to see it on the big screen. Turned out to be a busy but fun day!

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Mama/daughter day with Mad…

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Every so often I like to take off and have a special day with each of my children. As a mama of four it’s easy to sometimes feel like you just get so caught up in day to day life. These lil monsters are my world and I adore our one on one bonding time and reminding each of them just how important they are to me. Lord knows they grow up far faster than I’d like them to.

So today was my little Mad’s day! She picked pizza for lunch and then we went to see the movie Wonder. Such a perfect choice! I loved every minute of our time out. Even if the movie did make me tear up a bit. It reminded me a bit of the little fighter she is and how strong she truly is in being her own little person. Over the years people have attempted to question why she wears boy clothes or try to force “girl toys” on her as a present. Mad is such a unique child. She is strong willed, brilliant, always strives to be her best, and one of the kindest little hearts you’ll ever know. I’m so blessed to be her mama.

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